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National and Global, United States

Monday, September 7, 2009

On Being a Marketing Consultant: “someone brought in from somewhere over there to here, to offer advice.”

The term consultant gets defined much too freely these days, but the core definition of a consultant seems to be “someone brought in from somewhere over there to here, to offer advice.” My group accomplishes ‘contract consulting’ which can last for a year or more.

That being said, here’s what I’ve found:


1. Be prepared to be treated ridiculously badly.

2. But also be prepared to be treated ridiculously well, at times.

3. Get ready for the worst desk, the worst computer and the worst supplies; the worst office, and no parking space. If there's a key to the restroom, you will not have one

4. Don’t even think, not even once, that since you’ve been at a client for a long time, that your co-workers think of you as a fellow employee. They don't and never will.

5. Get ready to work without any sort of support staff

6. Any staff forced to work with you will treat you like you’ve been assigned to work for them.

7. Any staff forced to work for you will resent you

8. Everyone will assume that you make more money than they do for doing the same work

9. You will be told at least twice a week that you need to get a good, safe, stable job with benefits

10. Despite the fact that your hourly rate may be astronomical when compared to a salaried worker you’ll always be the first one assigned to make copies

11. If you leave late, someone will accuse you of trying to pump up your hours.

12. if you leave early, someone will accuse you of not working hard enough

13. Almost every company you work with will be a mess or heading in that general direction

14. Unless you work on a very specific project that is completely done when you leave, people will always blame you for problems that arise, long after you are dead and gone.

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